CHAMPAGNE DAIQUIRI £9
RUM / SOUR / DRY / FIZZY
Done it, guys. Done it. Figured out how to make champagne tastier, somehow. Turns out you throw the champagne out entirely, derive an acid base with the exact same flavour profile, combine it with Havana 7 rum and fruit syrup and fizz it up. The champagne industry is on the phone. ‘Please,’ it is saying, ‘please stop. You’ve changed the game. We’re on our knees, here’. No. We refuse to stop.
HOUSE FRUIT CUP £9-12
GIN / FRUIT / REFRESHING / SUMMER
We’ve made our own Pimm’s, although thankfully (for you) to drink it you don’t have to have red trousers, a history in the boat team, a nice little nest egg of mummy’s money to play with on the stock market and a dad who has already had four (four.) heart attacks about mansion tax. Pimm’s for the people.
GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM £9
ICED / LATTE / WITH / BOOZE
We took a cup of Vietnamese coffee on a really eye-opening trip round the Stone Circle where it took acid for the first time and made friends with a sinister man called ‘Grub’, and now this: Pandan adds a biscuity vibe, condensed and whole milk adds milky smoothness, and Thai spiced rum adds a ‘hold on, did I fall asleep in an Uber?’ note to proceedings. A joy.
ITALIAN PALE ALE £9
BEER / FRUITY / BOOZY
Ancient cave paintings reveal the first ever cocktail was in fact the ‘lager top’: here’s a twist on that, taking Five Points exquisite XPA and dumping it on top of a Campari Sour, for a foamy-textured drink that goes from sour to beer as you drink thru it. This one’s for you, Neanderthal Man. This one’s for you.
PETIT FILOUS DAIQUIRI £9
RUM / CREAMY / SWEET
Listen I’m not going to pretend there’s any particular artful or nuanced technique to all this: we froze a Petit Filous. We froze a Petit Filous and blended it up with Havana Anejo Especiale rum and lime. And we did this for something lawyers are strongly warning as against us marketing as ‘Yogohol – The Drink For Toddlers!™’
AEROPRESS MOJITO £9
RUM / MINT / DELICATE
To treat Mojitos with the true contempt they deserve, we have engendered a way to press and mash the core ingredients together as hard and as quickly as possible: Havana 3 rum infused with lime and mint flavours by slamming them thru an Aeropress and using the puck as a garnish. It’s a very aggressive way of making this, to be truly honest. But it is nice.
MONTHLY OLD FASHIONED £9
SPECIAL / BOOZY / SHORT
We’ve taken the only cocktail your boyfriend knows how to order and flipped it: seasonal syrups with a changeable array of spirits on top. This month we’ve mixing up a specially punchy batch of our fruit cup with Beefeater Gin.
GANCHO ROJO £10
TEQUILA / BITTER / TART
A Red Hook retooled with sweet hibiscus, bitter-sweet vermouth and Herradura Reposado tequila for something that’s sandy and fruity, balanced and juicy, all at the same time. An American classic, remade with Mexican parts: it’s essentially a cocktail engineered in a lab to piss Donald Trump off.
SCOTCH / LONG / DRY
The best cocktails have an origin story, shrouded in magic and mystery. This one doesn’t. Felix managed to smuggle a bottle of scotch and a Pret green tea onto a long haul flight and proceeded to get absolutely fucked up on a combination of the two, and lo, inspiration. The Goldfish combines home-brew coconut green tea, white peach puree and Chivas for a more civilised version of the thing that got him politely escorted off the flight once it landed.
YOU CAN’T BRAMBLE THE TRUTH £9
GIN / SOUR / SEAWEED / CHILLI
Last time you had chilli-infused liquor you ended up crying and vomiting at the same time and your uncle had to come and fetch you so your dad wouldn’t find out you’d been drinking before your A Level maths: thankfully, we’ve finessed it, bringing that ‘ooh, picante!’ flavour to the gin without the ‘I need a bathroom…in hospital’ fire hot heat. (blackberry, umami & sour flavours mellow it right out, don’t worry).
LEMON PARTY £6
POCOCELLO / DRY / SOUR / LOW ABV
Scientists call them ‘sour receptors’: the special senses inside your head and mouth that crave an entire bag of Tangfastics on a hangover. Well, now you can have it before the crash: our frankly appallingly-named low ABV offering is just the right amount of tang without turning your entire face inside out.
STRAWBERRY, LIME AND SODA £3.50
FRUITY / REFRESHING / NO ALCOHOL
All your favourite salad dressing ingredients turned into a high ball: balsamic, lime and strawberry, all lengthened out with soda, for something that’s very ‘ah, let’s watch the red sun set while trying to ignore this forehead-specific sunburn’ as the summer nights turn hot to cool.
TINY / COLD / WET
Martinis are great, yeah? But so gigantic. What if you could have a double shot sized one, colder-than-ice-cold, straight from a Jäger machine with a bottle of gin awkwardly wedged in the top of it? What if, indeed. Ask at the bar which particular premium gin we’ve got in right now: it changes every dozen bottles.
THE EAGLE £15
SPECIAL / BOOZY / BALLER / UP
Seems like a lot, doesn’t it? £15, for a single cocktail? Served, madly, out of a ceramic eagle that everyone caws at when ushered down from the high eyrie in which it lives? Dare to Eagle: a changing array of ultra-premium spirits, served from a fucking eagle.